Loneliness after a divorce would be something that most people face, especially if the marriage was long. And this is normal; it does not mean that you are weak; it is just a part of the process of adaptation to a new life. Every person after a divorce is trying to cope with loneliness and begin to live a full life.
Divorce is in any case stress, but different people have various reaction on it. Someone goes into a severe depression; someone tries to start over. The feeling of loneliness is a natural reaction of the psyche to the post-divorce period. But for everyone it is expressed in different ways, depending on the person’s emotionality, sensitivity, and life circumstances. In any case, loneliness is not a feeling that should be with you for the rest of your life. Therefore, in order not to fall into depression, you need to let this feeling go and change your life for the better.
Recovering from marriage dissolution depends on your inner strength and will. And if you are reading this article, this is a good symptom and means that you have already taken the first step to heal. We hope that these six tips below will help you to believe in yourself and make your life brighter.
Admit your feelings
The big mistake that many make is to run away from how you feel. No, it does not help at all, even quite the contrary. At one point, this void will fall on you like an avalanche. Therefore, the first thing to do is to accept all those negative feelings that are inside. You are alone, yes, and so what? Loneliness will not kill you. Of course, maybe you will cry for some time, and that’s fine. And yes, men also cry, closing somewhere where nobody sees them. This does not mean that you are weak or worthless. This only means that you have been strong for a long time. And now it’s time to give yourself a break.
Once you admit that you are alone, the world will not collapse. The sun will still shine brightly, the Statue of Liberty will welcome immigrants each day, and we will continue to celebrate Christmas on December 25. Moreover, your feelings are an integral part of you. And you have to go through them entirely, to feel all this pain, to let it go finally. Give yourself time to be in this state, to then be reborn as a phoenix from the ashes.
Fall in love
Many people after a divorce are trying to quickly start a new relationship and fall in love to alleviate the suffering. And this is a huge mistake. First of all, you should fall in love with yourself. Partners will come into your life and leave, as well as your friends and acquaintances. But you are your one and only. The person you should love more than anyone else is you. And not even children who need your care. Children will grow up and make their families, and what will remain with you? Love yourself, take care of yourself, do what you want. In the end, life is one, and you have to live it so that you do not regret anything. Accept yourself as you are. Yes, everyone has a past; every person makes mistakes. But after all, also you have achievements. Think about what your actions you are very proud of. In any case, you have something to brag about. And your difficult period is just a sign that you need to raise self-esteem.
To love is to care. Take care of your body and look. Buy high-quality food and clothing that makes you. Get enough sleep and exercise; it will also help you to throw out internal pain.
Remember your hobbies or something that pleased you. Or maybe as a result of the dissolution, you will discover brand new talents. Many masterpieces were created in a period of loneliness. For example, the song “Don’t Speak” was written by Gwen Stefani after breaking up with Tony Kanal. In 1996, it became the most popular song on US radio.
Spend more time with the kids
Children suffer no less than their parents, and often even more. They may also feel lonely and superfluous. But children are more challenging to cope with feelings than adults. Of course, most likely you and your spouse have joint custody. Online Divorce says: “the court wants to create joint custody so that children and parents suffer the least from the consequences of the divorce.” And this is true for all states because everywhere the courts make decisions based on the best interests of the child. Naturally, a particular time the child will live with your ex. But when the kid is with you, try to participate as much as possible in his or her life. Love his hobby and become a real team, let the child understand that you are his reliable support. And he will return the feeling with double power. From such an impact, you certainly will not feel lonely.
Become a volunteer
To feel needed, make yourself useful. You can help at a local hospital or homeless shelter, as well as join an organization that helps victims of violence. Volunteering is something that can bring you a sense of satisfaction. Also, helping other people, you will feel wanted, as well as do good works. If you make someone’s life a little better, the same thing will happen to you; your emotional state will change. Besides, volunteering is an opportunity to gain new knowledge, skills and make useful links.
People with the same interests as you have will help to cope with loneliness. Imagine that you could communicate with a person who is interested in precisely the same things as you. And what if there are many such people? Sapid conversations, and maybe even trips – all this will help to cope with loneliness, and you will be happy again. For example, the Meetup service will help you find people with similar interests in your location. It was created after the tragic events of September 11 in the wake of people’s cohesion and readiness to help each other. And so far it performs the same functions, helps people find each other. You can look for anything in it, even divorce groups where are gathered people with the same problems. You will never be lonely if there is a person nearby who can understand and share your pain.
Get a pet
Another great tip we saw on mydomaine.com. If you do not have children and you have no one to care for, get a pet. This sweet creature will bring you joy and always wait for you to return home. It will become your faithful friend. You will never be lonely because this creature will need you. Besides, the animals are adorable and funny. Taking care of another being will help you to rid yourself of emptiness inside.
Divorce is a very traumatic event, so experiencing negative feelings after it is normal. But there is a fine line between what is normal and how to fall into depression. Being lonely is also natural, but this does not mean that you are worthless. This is a consequence of the fact that the place in your life has become free. This place needs to be filled with various bright emotions. New hobbies, trips, useful links, excellent communication – all this is what you can do instead of suffering. Also, it must be remembered that each recovery process takes place differently, someone needs months or years to cope with the trauma of a divorce, and someone is always ready to start all over again. Unfortunately, there is no single solution on how to cope with the loneliness that would suit everybody. Everyone chooses for himself what is useful in his particular case. But it is essential to start trying and gradually change your life, even if the process is slow.