Many people believe that distance relationships are doomed. Your family doesn’t believe it, your friends discourage it and you start to have doubts about it. You start to think that you can’t get too involved in the relationship and you jump to taking it lighter to avoid a broken heart. Deep down you know it is not really like that and if something fails, you will feel devastated. Being away from your significant other might be unbearable, hard and turn things unachievable. Your plans are stagnated for a while and you start to feel lonely and sad.

First of all, accept that all the people who have been or are in a distance relationship feel like this. You are not the only one. At some point this has happened to everyone. Accepting your own feelings, even if they are sadness, is the first step to start seeing things in a brighter way.

When you finally reunite with your lover, the humblest things are the most amazing. Being able to hold each other’s hands, sharing meals, watching a movie or just standing right next to the person. These small behaviours usually weight more in a distance relationship since you don’t have any of these granted each day.

Long distance relationships are tough. However, they are not impossible and when someone says love moves mountains, it is true. Love knows no boundaries.
For your relationship to survive borders try to keep the balance between the following steps.

Face the situation as an opportunity

This might be the real test to your love. If you love each other to the point you are not able to survive without one another, your love can survive anything. “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire”. Even though you love someone deeply, this might be the opportunity to understand if you are loved in the same proportion. Sometimes, some couples can be really close but feeling apart. Contrarily, some are physically apart but still closer than if they were, in fact. together.

Clear your expectations

You need to make clear as water what you expect of your partner during the time you will spend apart. Try to understand if you are in the same page of putting effort into the relationship and set ground rules so none of you will disappoint the other with unexpected behaviours. Define the commitment level and be open to communicate about what scares you and what are the close future plans.

Communication is the key

In everything in the world, or mostly everything, communication, either smoke signs, body language or words, is everything. The secret of communication between a couple is never forgetting the basic polite rules of a conversation. Never skip a “good morning”, an “hello”, a “good night”. This is a must! Don’t show the person you have her/him for granted by behaving straight to the point, with no attention. If texts are one of the only means of communication you have, don’t forget that the other person might read it in a different perspective and tone.

Always update your partner on how things are going for you. Even if they seem mundane. I guarantee that the other side will love to hear or read it. Your partner will feel active in your routine and most of all, part of it.

Don’t communicate all the time, in a possessive way. Once again, set limits and rules. Make sure you make a skype call each day and, sometimes, watch a movie together while on a video call. It will extend the quality of the relationship.

Do things together

You read it well! Do things together. While you need to go shopping make a video call with your partner and show them what you are up to. Drink coffee have diner and go on walks together. Play games at the same time against each other and even rest while the other is there to see you. This is one of the essential steps that will make all the difference in the trust and confidence of your love life.

Program escape trips to see each other

Your routines and work life are busy and, sometimes, the clock itself betrays you, but you need to hold your horses and have additional patience. Nevertheless, keep on planning that weekend you will see each other. Visits are the boost of a distant relationship. Once you finally meet again it will all be fireworks and butterflies.

Have a goal in mind

“How long are you going to be apart?”, “What about the future?”. These are questions that, even if difficult, need to be answered for the sake of your life and relationship. You may survive one, two or three years apart but the future plans need to establish when the physical gap between you will be closed. Knowing that this day will come makes it easier. Keeping doubting of when it can happen might condemn the future. Always be honest with each other and share thoughts, feelings and plans.

Trust your partner

For some people trust might be a tough goal. Either because they had traumatic past experiences or just because at some stage of life is harder to trust someone. Knowing your partner loves you and is willing to do things for you is the first step to believe in the relationship and the person. You need to assure to the other that if at some point you feel things aren’t working, you will be the first to talk about it. Trust is the basis of all the relationships: love, friends or family. If you are apart from each other and something comes on the way, whatever it can be, call your partner and clarify immediately the situation. Don’t argue by text or explain it this way. Speak face to face, on a video call, or a voice one. Above all, this is the golden rule that will safeguard the length and excellence of your relationship.