In life, you either win or you learn and this principle applies to everything, even relationships; especially relationships. However, sometimes it may feel like this experience is just too expensive. One of the biggest mistakes that a lot of people make is prolonging the agony and in order to move on you need to leave your life behind. In a scenario where you have kids together, the person in question will never leave your life, however, you really need to try and think about them as little as possible. The best way to do so is to move (even if they already left) and here are several tips to help you do so efficiently.
Leave the stuff behind
There are some items that will remind you of the good times you had together, however, sentimentalism can be a slow-working poison that you need to watch out for. Sure, if you keep these mementos, years from now they may become a source of pleasant memories. Nonetheless, surrounding yourself with them right away is the worst possible thing you can do. So, either give them back to your former partner (let them worry about what they should do with all these items), leave them behind (donate or discard them completely) or just put them in a box and stuff them somewhere in the attic.
Pursue your dreams
Moving is a major life decision and making it under the influence of a former partner doesn’t sound very good. Instead, you need to make sure that your relocation has a bigger purpose. For instance, you could use it to follow your dream. Moving to a place that you always wanted to call home is just one of the examples. Moving in order to pursue a career that was unavailable to you at your current destination is another great example. Just make sure to start putting yourself first and the choice that you’re making will definitely be the right one.
Do it yourself
Chances are that in the aftermath of a turbulent relationship you have a small self-confidence problem, which is why you might want to handle the move on your own. In fact, the majority of people move without any professional assistance. Still, due to the fact that you might lack transportation capacities, you should at least look for a Budget truck hire. Equipped with this vehicle, all you’ll need now is some additional manpower, which brings us to the next point…
Look for some help
The fact that you should look for some help can be interpreted in more than one way, both of them apply in this scenario. First of all, you need to look for some company, due to the fact that staying alone with your thoughts may not be the most pleasant of thoughts at the moment. Other than this, you could use some help with the move. So, recruits some of your closest, handiest and strongest friends to help you out with this ordeal. Staying busy is one of the best things you could do right now and stay busy in a pleasant company is even better.
Have “the talk” with your children
This is a tough one but if you and your partner have children together, chances are that this split won’t affect just the two of you. Amongst those affected, your children will come to the front and it’s incredibly important that you have “the talk with them”. Explain to them why you have to move out but make sure to let them know that you’ll still there for them. The best part of gender equality is the fact that men now have great odds of receiving 50/50 custody. Upon moving in, make sure that your child sees your future home as their own home, as well.
A new start
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Previously, we’ve mentioned that you shouldn’t be dwelling on the past, well, this is not always true. What you need to do is reexamine what brought you into the situation in which you are at the moment and try not to make the same mistake ever again. The best way to do so is to talk to your former partner about it, however, if you don’t have mutual offspring, it’s probably for the best to stop contact completely, several weeks after the split.
As you can see, there are so many reasons for you to move, as well as so many ways in which you can use this move in order to get over your breakup/divorce. Still, for all of this to work in your favor, you need to be confident, methodical and determined.