Divorce rates have skyrocketed over the last couple of decades. Movies and books romanticize a relationship and have the couple living happily ever after. Unfortunately, these movies and books do not show what occurs after the couple falls in love. We are never privy to the mental and emotional upkeep that is necessary to make a marriage work. If only Hollywood would produce more movies about how to prevent a divorce rather than how to fall in love, the divorce rate would not be nearly as high.
If your marriage is on the rocks and you are considering contacting a top Houston divorce attorney, you know how heartbreaking the decision of filing for divorce truly is. Is there anything you can do to save your marriage when it seems that everything is lost? Are there steps that you can take to prevent a divorce, keep the family together and nurture your love for your spouse and vice versa? The first thing that you need to determine is whether there is any part of your marriage worth saving.
You may need to dig deep to remember when you were in love. What was different then than it is now? Is there any way you can recreate the conditions of your marriage when you were happy and still in love? These thoughts can help you figure out what went wrong and how it can be corrected. Next, you will want to be honest with yourself and determine if you are being fair to your spouse. This can be difficult to do. You must dig deep and take a close look at your life. Is there a lot of stress going on in your life? Could this be what is clouding your judgment toward your spouse? Sometimes life gets in the way and we take our stress out on those we are closest to. When this occurs, your spouse can become defensive and a vicious cycle can begin.
Do Not Compare Your Marriage To Others
Never compare your marriage to someone else’s marriage. Nothing good will come from it. No two marriages are the same. Furthermore, when you compare your marriage to another couple’s marriage, you are only seeing the marriage from the outside. The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence. Find out what makes your spouse and marriage unique and learn to appreciate these unique traits. Marriage counseling should always be considered before a divorce. Oftentimes, a mediator can objectively look at your situation and find the problems that you cannot see because you are too close to the situation. A counselor can teach you how to better communicate with one another. Communication is one of the main issues that cause divorce. Learning how to communicate with your spouse is the first step towards healing.
Take Care of Yourself
If you have let yourself go, it could be the root of your marriage problems. People do not like to admit that they want to be attracted to their space; however, after you have spent years together, you have become comfortable with one another. One or both spouses no longer work to keep themselves looking their best. Although you may not want to admit it, loving someone does not remove the need to be attracted to them.
Don’t Ignore You Marital Problems
It can be tempting to pretend that everything is okay; however, avoiding expressing yourself can build up resentment. This can result in larger arguments in the future. Addressing problems as they occur offers the opportunity to resolve them quickly. This can help prevent resentment from escalating and may help prevent a divorce.
Open Up and Talk in a Non-Defensive Manner
Your spouse may have difficulty listening to you when you are expressing how you feel, especially if you use the wrong tone. Instead of using words that place the blame on your spouse like “you always do” or “you never do”, choose non-defensive words like “I feel.” When you go at the situation using non-defensive words, your spouse is more likely to listen to you. If you use accusatory words, your spouse can feel attacked and shut down rather than listening to you.
Make Your Spouse Your Priority
Ask your spouse if they think they are important in your eyes. You probably already know the answer. Not making your spouse a priority can cause them to feel undervalued or unappreciated, which can cause resentment.
Start Over and Begin Dating Again
If you are not ready to contact a top Houston divorce attorney and want to work to save your marriage, you must figure out why you fell in love in the first place. Start dating and courting your spouse again to see if there is any spark left in your marriage. Typically, when both spouses agree to give it their all and start dating, their love reblooms into something more beautiful than when you first fell in love.
Laurence is a person who works for a law firm as consultant/counselor. He is usually the one who performs counseling for couples who are planning to be divorced. He has already satisfied clients all over America.